


Hard Reset

by JaneTheNya



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Chara (Undertale), Nonbinary Frisk (Undertale), Undertale College AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27013690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneTheNya/pseuds/JaneTheNya
Summary: It's been some time since Frisk and Chara broke the barrier, and the lives of everyone are hurdling toward a new stage.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

A groggy and half-asleep Asriel Dreemurr fumbled with the glasses on his desk, shoving them at his face before adjusting them into position, yanking the sweat jacket from the back of his chair and throwing it on. It was another early morning, a day of being run ragged with the semester in full swing at Hometown’s own Gerson University. There was no time to dawdle, and Asriel didn’t get special privileges just because his family helped establish the school nearly a decade prior. He was as exhausted and stressed as any other college student his age.

The years had flown by, thanks in no small part to the chaos that the Dreemurrs' lives had been thrust into ever since Frisk and Chara broke the barrier and freed the monsters from the underground. The human world was thrust into a sudden chaos as a new race of life emerged intending to integrate itself into their world. The monsters were guided by an unlikely trio of ambassadors, barely old enough at the time to attend middle school. The prince of monsterkind, Asriel, and his two unlikely siblings.

Asriel wasn’t sure what had him recounting those memories on that rainy, humid morning, grabbing his guitar case and rushing out of the dorms toward his first class of the day. He certainly had more pressing matters on his mind, midterms were weighing on him, and rehearsals were becoming stricter as he hurdled toward his senior year. It felt like just yesterday when he came to the college, though at the same time, it felt like a hundred years.

Managing the reintegration of monsters into human society was not an easy affair. The king and queen’s appearances and personalities changed quickly, their exhaustion and anxiety clearly visible in the way they carried themselves, running on sleepless nights, kept awake only by caffeine and a feeling of duty to their children. Exhausted and overworked though they were, they never lost their gentle nature. The jovial king Asgore and the nurturing queen Toriel, divorced but nonetheless an unstoppable combination.

And then, there were their children.

It took them some time to open up about it. Helping Asriel to redevelop his goat form, they insisted, took priority. Only after it was done, and after time was made for it, did Frisk open up about the presence of Chara’s SOUL.

It wasn’t certain anything could be done about it, at first. Alphys had called it “a scientific anomaly in the research into SOULS,” unlike anything that had been seen before. Could one SOUL be separated from the other? Could Chara’s SOUL be safely extracted without causing harm to Frisk? Was it possible to return them to themselves?

Luckily, it wouldn’t take much time to find the answer. And before long, the children could return to living… mostly normal lives, psychological trauma notwithstanding.

Frisk adapted quickly. Quiet, humble, and patient, they never let on when they were taking on too much. Asriel had quickly become adept at noticing their little ticks and gestures, the ones that meant they were becoming stressed. That’s when it became time for him to start offering to take work off their plate, and onto his.

And then there was the other end of the spectrum. Equally quiet at times, but prone to violent panic attacks at others. It had taken a long time to get through to Chara, about everything. That what happened wasn’t their fault, that they weren’t hated, that they deserved to be happy. Years of ongoing therapy and a brother and family who would stop at nothing to ensure their comfort would eventually bear fruit, and the locked room in which Chara resided would slowly begin to open.

It wasn’t fair that a 12-year-old child would have to go in front of huge bodies of government and speak on behalf of monsters, but it was a role Frisk never let on they were uncomfortable with, not without some nudging. The process wasn’t always clean, and at the worst of times it meant standing before a room of suit-wearing adults as they were interrogated about the safety risks of allowing monsters into the world. It was gruelling, and unfair. Asgore and Toriel had insisted on doing as much of the work as they could, but there was only so much they could do. Every time they stepped in front of a crowd, the Dreemurr children would make sure they were all together. Frisk ensuring Asriel and Chara that they would not see a repeat of what happened before. Things would be different.

Asriel whistled to himself as he walked, the long stretch from the dorm buildings to the campus. He looked around at the buildings, hastily constructed to make room for the sudden influx of monsters suddenly looking for a place to study. There was a beauty in those concrete, brutalist structures. The sense of devotion and necessity, a steadfast determination to make things work.

It was a miracle that the school had been built. A short few years to create preliminary institutions for humans to study alongside monsters, a trial run of their ability to coexist. Asriel would be lying if he said it didn’t create some sense of unease. At the worst of times, it was a reminder of how much was on the line. He wasn’t just studying to be a musician, he was destined for a career as an ambassador between humans and monsters, whether he liked it or not.

Choosing a major was surprisingly easy for Frisk. Toriel joked that they could practically do anything they set their mind to, but when they came forward with Sociology and a Public Speaking minor, everyone knew exactly why. Most of the time, Frisk didn’t seem to let on that being chosen as monsterkind’s ambassador was an unwanted burden on them. Somehow, though, Asriel could sense that there was something there- not resentment, not even bitterness. It was best described as a certainty that this would not be the way things worked out for them if life had gone differently. That this was never their first choice. They’d never admit that, but brotherly intuition told Asriel it was true.

Asriel’s eyes turned toward the sky, covered in a sheet of grey clouds threatening rain. It was one of those cold, wet days of early fall. Chara would call it a disgusting sort of day, but to Asriel, there was a beauty in it. Perhaps it was simply because he had lived so much of his early life without any sky to look at, but beyond that, something about the brisk air gave him a feeling of excitement, of a difficult yet rewarding day looming before him.

He slipped the phone out of his jacket pocket, making sure he still had plenty of time. He had a tendency to run late, easily distracted as he often was, and his professors had made a point of drilling a punctuality into him. 7:50 a.m., ten minutes, plenty of time. He nodded to himself, switching the hand that held his guitar case over to his left.

Music had been Asriel’s passion for as long as he could remember. The sounds of acoustic guitar filled him with excitement and energy. When his parents gifted him a guitar of his own for his birthday, he was over the moon. The biggest difference between him and Frisk, as he saw it, was those choices of majors. Asriel still refused to let politics get in the way of his dream, even when on some level he knew he’d be best prepared for the gauntlet of adulthood if he studied up on law or public relations. He knew he’d flunk those classes, he had accepted that he knew where his talents laid, and he was more than happy with who he was.

He took a deep breath as he climbed the stairs toward the large student center. It was a much more intimidating style of building than the ones he’d seen in photos from other colleges. A concrete structure decorated sparsely with hanging baskets full of plant life, small windows along the upper floor. Brutalist architecture, hastily constructed, like everything on the campus. It wasn’t always pretty to look at, but it served its purpose admirably, and for that, Asriel couldn’t help but love it.

As he threw open the doors to the entrance, he couldn’t help but give a big smile. Frisk, busy as ever, waved to him as they jogged down the staircase. Fluffy black hair decorated with a number of hair bows and hair clips, a tan suit jacket with a turquoise tie worn with a long skirt and black stockings, and dress shoes. Under their arm they carried a manilla folder that looked full to bursting with papers.

“Hi, Azzy!” they called out, their voice cheery but still distinctly short of breath. “Off to class?” Asriel gave a nod.

They stopped just short of running into the goat boy and gave him a hug. “Keeping yourself busy as ever, huh?” Asriel replied with a chuckle.

“Oh…! Oh, yeah!” they replied, waving the folder in front of him. “I gotta… take these to that one office. Down here.” They smiled brightly and gave a wave as they scurried off as quickly as they’d appeared. Cheerful and full of energy, same as ever. It always made Asriel smile, too.

Frisk really was something special, truly incredible. They’d become valedictorian in high school, and as soon as they got to college, they set about securing a position as president of the student government. By their second year, it was theirs. Asriel didn’t want to let them take that all on alone, so he’d applied for vice president, and was honestly shocked when he got it. Despite his lack of experience, it seems he’d done well enough in the extremely tense interviews to convince them, or perhaps it was just his last name that carried him. In all honesty, as long as he could help Frisk, it didn’t matter much to him either way.

He jogged along through the student center. He was running short on time, and the building he was headed for was still a good five minutes away. He’d have to pick up the pace.

It was a stressful day, there was no doubt about that. But somehow, something in him was excited that morning. Whatever it was that had got him feeling sentimental and reminiscing, it had done a good job of filling him with a feeling of sheer Determination.

* * *

Asriel yawned as he lugged the guitar case with him toward the dining hall. The lack of sleep and late nights of homework were definitely beginning to catch up with him, and he was a little sad at how quickly his energy from the morning had faded after back-to-back classes and guitar practice.

As he got closer, he gave a weary wave toward Frisk, seated in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting area just outside the dining hall, diligently reading a file that looked, at the very least, much smaller than the one they were rushing around earlier that morning. As they noticed him, they looked up with surprise that turned into a cheerful smile and energetic wave.

“Did you have a good practice?” they asked, folding the file shut and sliding it into the backpack at their feet.

Asriel gave a tired nod. “I think I got this song down, at least…” he couldn’t help but give a sigh as he flopped down into one of the chairs across from Frisk. “I’m definitely not as busy as you, though. You okay?”

Frisk gave a big smile and nodded excitedly. “Uh-huh!” they announced, arms flapping a bit excitedly. “I organized a whole bunch of stuff this morning so the student government’s meeting this week will be a breeze.”

Asriel chuckled, he couldn’t help himself. That really was, just… very Frisk. Exactly like them. Concerned with doing it all, making it easier for everyone else. “Be sure to leave me something to do,” he noted jokingly, though a part of him was clearly serious. He really did want to have something to do, if not for Frisk’s sake, to make himself feel useful. Given the reason he took the position in the first place, it didn’t do much good to have Frisk doing all the work for him.

“Do you wanna head inside?” Frisk asked, standing from their seat and grabbing their backpack, slinging it around their shoulder causing the variety of clip-on charms Alphys gave them to dangle about.

“Yeah,” Asriel agreed, sliding the phone out of his pocket and checking for new messages. Some were there, but not the one he was looking for. “I’ll bet you anything Chara hasn’t eaten today.”

Frisk giggled. “I’m not taking that bet.” They danced a bit in place, hopping from foot to foot. “Should we call them?”

“No need,” came a familiar voice from down the hall, turning the corner to where the two were. “I’m right here.”

“Were you waiting there on purpose so you could do that?” Asriel teased as he turned to greet his sibling. “And what were you gonna do if we didn’t think to call you?”

“Of course I was, and I knew you would. Don’t forget who you’re talking to, Azzy.” They smirked.

Chara Dreemurr looked the same as they did every day Asriel had seen them for the last few years. Shoulder-length brown hair in a complete mess, stray strands curling out in all directions. A button-up short-sleeved shirt with an impossible number of wrinkles, and a jacket sloppily thrown over it, worn over skinny jeans. Pale, almost pure white skin, and piercing red eyes that looked tired no matter how much sleep they got.

“So answer the question, dummy,” Asriel pestered. “Did you eat anything today yet? I know you worked this morning.”

“The answer will shock you,” Chara replied, deadpan, sliding their phone out and staring passively at it to avoid eye contact. “But no. No I haven’t.”

Frisk bounced up to the other two. “Time to fix that, then!” They motioned towards the double-doors that made up the dining hall’s entrance.

“Certainly,” Chara said, giving a small smile. “Lead the way, dear captain.”

Settling into college had been difficult for Chara. Not because they weren’t smart enough to handle it, not because living on their own was too daunting a task. Nobody could really clock what was going through their head, no one but Asriel.

Whereas Frisk got straight A’s, and Asriel a mix of A’s and B’s, Chara remained teetering on the edge of cut-off limits for the University’s honors department. A messy sleep schedule and messier mental health had them napping through most of the day and spending their nights too depressed to work. They were an unstoppable force in classes, they could talk for hours on end if no one stopped them. But they probably got one in every three homework assignments turned in on time, if at all.

Unlike Asriel and Frisk, Chara hadn’t known what they wanted to do. No one would have blamed them, really, either. Their mere existence was an anomaly. For the first year, they floundered, uncertain. It was only after philosophy caught their eye that they’d found a direction to follow. There was a spark in their eye when they talked about it- complex ideas about human morality, answers to the questions that had tormented them for a lifetime. A field that actually carried meaning for them was a miracle.

The trio settled into one of the many tables after grabbing food. For Frisk, a hamburger and fries. For Asriel, some pasta and broccoli in alfredo sauce. For Chara, pizza. The three set themselves up in a triangle, eating quietly.

They were always a contrast. The professionally dressed, if eccentric, Frisk in their suit jacket and formalwear, Asriel with his guitar and graphic t-shirt, and Chara, who had no doubt spent their last few hours sleeping on the floor, and looked every bit of it.

Asriel grumbled as a realization hit him. “I have to do laundry tonight…” He gave a sour expression and dug his fork into the pasta with extra force to punctuate his frustration.

“I’ll do it for you,” Chara mumbled through bites of pizza. “At 3 a.m. or some shit, when no one in their right mind is doing laundry.” They swallowed and set the slice down, wiping off their mouth with a napkin. “Leave your door unlocked and I’ll grab yours too, Frisk.”

Frisk gave a giggle, absently trying to stack the salt shaker atop the pepper shaker with little success. “You’re so weird.”

Chara shrugged. “Fair assessment. Not the worst I’ve had.” They grinned, grabbing for their empty cub and trying to stack it atop Frisk’s already-unsuccessful tower. “You’re also not one to talk about being weird. Yesterday you knocked on my door, silently handed me a bag of chips, and then left.”

Frisk grabbed their own empty cup and slid it into Chara’s, continuing the doomed venture that was their tower. “I figured you hadn’t eaten all day and I was stopping by my room anyway.”

Chara shrugged again. “You were correct, in fairness.” They looked around the table, clearly searching for more things to add to the horrible monolith of tableware. They found their way to their coffee mug, which they slotted eagerly into one of the cups at an angle. Asriel merely watched, waiting for this doomed venture to topple over and send all three of them into a panic.

“What else do you have to do today?” Asriel asked, scrolling his phone absent-mindedly. “I finished up after this morning, so I’m gonna relax at the dorm for a bit and then do some homework before dinner.”

“I have worked for seven hours. And I attended a class. I am done for today,” Chara complained. “I’m gonna sleep or something. Who cares.”

“Pretty sure you were up all night,” Asriel mused. “So that’s probably for the best, all things considered. Although you might wanna get on those assignments before too long.” He nudged them. “Unless you’re waiting for a good mental health day to come along.”

“I don’t _have_ good mental health days, Azzy,” they fired back, not looking away from the precariously-balancing project that had captured their attention. “I’m just gonna eventually get so anxious about it that I do a rushed job and finish it at some point. Then the problem is solved!” They grinned a bit, a little pain in their eyes as they recognized the truth behind that joke.

“I think sleeping is good,” Frisk added in a playful tone, just chipper to contribute to the conversation as always. They, too, remained locked intently on the project they’d so suddenly composed.

“What about YOU, Frisk?” Chara asked snidely. “Finish working yourself to the bone yet?”

They giggled, and the tower wobbled, protesting the subtle motion. “That’s something Sans would say,” they mumbled amusedly. “Anyway, I’m fine.” They gave a shrug. “Staying on top of things isn’t too bad. I get them done fast and then it’s good!” Their voice was so chipper and delightful that it was infectious, and Asriel found he couldn’t help but smile along with them.

Finally, he slid his fork across the table toward the tower, conceding that he now wanted to make his own contribution and become a part of this bizarre project. As he did, he locked eyes with Chara. “Don’t.” They shrugged, and a moment later it was scooped up by Frisk and attached to the tower where there was room.

“Remember you can always lean on me, if you need help. I’m more than willing,” Asriel said with a nervous chuckle. Frisk nodded in response, not breaking their eyes away from the tower.

“You’re busy with guitar stuff though. I don’t wanna make the semester harder for you if I can help it.” They reached across the table and stole Asriel’s plate, adding it to the stack of plates that they’d turned into the tower’s base.

“It still had sauce on it and you put it under my plate…” Chara remarked with disgust. “I’m not touching that.” Frisk gave a giggle.

“I’ll carry it,” Asriel mumbled. “And, uh… I dunno, we’ve all got stuff, don’t we? I just don’t want you to bite off more than you can chew… I’ve got my position for a reason, y’know?” His voice was nervous now, awkwardly and anxiously trying to cloak the frustration that was bubbling up within him.

“It’s okay,” Frisk remarked again, cheerful as ever, dismissive. “I’ll let you know if there’s something I need.”

“Azzy, if you’re gonna argue with Frisk because they won’t let you do extra work, can you do it while I’m not here? I don’t wanna live in the Twilight Zone.” Chara’s tone was dry and sarcastic as always, but it was clear they were attempting to diffuse the situation, in their own way. That only really got Asriel more worked up internally, but he let it be.

“Yeah,” Asriel said, weakly attempting to cap off the conversation, grabbing his cup and drinking the last of it before trying to add it onto the tower. One bump of the wrist up against the salt shaker, and the whole thing came tumbling down.


	2. Chapter 2

The air that night was crisp and cool, a gentle breeze whistling through the trees around the campus, heralding the coming of fall. It was beautiful, Asriel thought, looking up at the starry sky above. It was clear, unhindered by lights or clouds, offering a view into the distant space. It was reminiscent of the caverns in the underground, but far more real, more vivid. To a goat covered in fur such as himself, even the chilly atmosphere of the night wasn’t a cause for discomfort, but the other inhabitant of the bleachers didn’t appear to be so comfortable.

“Would you rather go somewhere else, Chara?” he asked, shifting his position. The cold metal of the bleachers wasn’t exactly comfortable for him, either. And it wasn’t as though there was any game to speak of on the silent football field splayed out in front of them, only a single lonely jogger running around the track on the perimeter.

Asriel’s sibling sat a row above him, legs crossed, intently focusing as they held Asriel’s guitar in their arms, slowly playing one chord after another while their expression twisted first in frustration, then contentment. “Doesn’t matter much to me,” they said after awhile. “This place is as good as any.”

Asriel’s guitar wasn’t necessarily just his. It was true that it was one of the most important objects in his life, but to be accurate, it was shared between himself and Chara. A gift to the both of them, they had learned it together, starting with one song that would unite them. Even as Chara’s interest- and more pressingly, their commitment to regular practice- had waned, they continued to pick it up occasionally. It always brought Asriel a little pleasure to see them trying.

“So, what did you want to ask about? Fail a midterm or something?” Chara asked bluntly, not looking up from the neck of the guitar, where their fingers struggled to find footing as they attempted to transfer from note to note.

Asriel gave a sigh, and a tired smile, shaking his head. He watched for a moment as the breath from his sigh dissipated visibly before him in the cold night’s air. “No, not that. I mean, it’s been really rough lately, but I’m doing okay.” Chara nodded, still without looking up, motioning for him to continue.

“I’m worried about Frisk,” Asriel finally said directly. That was enough to get Chara to look up from the guitar, meeting his expression with one of curiosity and confusion. “They’ve been taking on so much extra work lately. All this stuff for student government, and me, I’m just…” he lifted his arms into the air and flopped them back down in a motion of frustration. “I’m sitting here, willing to help. They could always ask me.”

“Who says they need your help?” Chara fired back, their typical blunt tone. By now, their eyes were back on the frets.

Asriel scoffed, turning away for a moment to watch that jogger rounding the edge of the track, their figure cloaked in darkness, some anonymous individual possibly unaware the two were even there at all. “It’s not about me…” he finally protested.

“If it’s not about you, then why do you care?” Chara asked again, still not seeming to let up. They played a few notes, shifting their fingers in time, giving a small smile and looking content with themselves.

“I’m worried about my sibling,” Asriel grumbled. “I’d be worried if it was you, too.” That got a little chuckle out of the human. “That amount of work just isn’t healthy, you know? I don’t want them to bite off more than they can chew, especially when they’ve got people willing to help them…”

There was silence for awhile after that last sentence, quiet sounds of the evening air disrupted only by the occasional playing of guitar, always going for a few notes before struggling and coming to a halt.

“Hey, Azzy…?” finally came Chara’s voice, soft and unusually delicate. Asriel turned to look at them, a pleading expression. “You’re… doing enough, you know. You don’t have to prove yourself.” They shrugged. “We’re proud of you. Mom and dad are proud of you. You… y’know, don’t have anything to prove.”

Asriel’s eyes darted down to his feet before he shut them tight, shaking his head. Maybe they were right. Maybe that had been what this was all about. Asriel feeling the need to prove himself, make himself useful to Frisk, after everything they’d done for him. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d felt that way. Studying something artistic like music, when most of the wider world must have expected bigger things out of him. He was the prince of monsterkind after all, and for as little as that meant in terms of his influence and power in a world run by humans, it meant he had responsibilities, even ones he didn’t sign up for.

“Chara?” he asked after a bit. They gave a little motion with their hand, signalling for him to continue. “Do you ever get scared? About, like… what’s gonna happen when we graduate, when we have to… take up a position, and, like… make everything work out, somehow?”

They snorted, hand moving to cover their mouth from a sudden bout of laughter. Asriel wasn’t offended, this was typical for them. It meant he’d hit the nail on the head, he was assuming. He raised his hand in the air so they could clearly see it before placing it on their leg, trying to keep them steady, reminding them of his presence.

After awhile, they calmed themselves down. About a minute of silence passed before they spoke. “Yeah, I do. Constantly, in fact.” They ran a hand through their hair, trying to press down the matted mess that was blowing gently in the breeze. “Especially with… the way I am. I can only imagine the field day the media will have with me once I make my first appearance in public.” They sighed, biting their lower lip, setting the guitar in their lap and cradling themselves in their arms before they continued. “But I realized, or at least, rationalized it to myself… that this is something I can aspire to, a way to help people greater than anything I have done before. A chance to do more for the world than most people could. And that opportunity alone is worth taking the risk. If anything, I owe it to them.”

Asriel nodded, taking in their words, processing them. “That may not be the healthiest way to think of it…” he said with a nervous chuckle. “But I can’t say I think you’re entirely wrong, either. I guess I didn’t ask for this position, but it is something pretty big. Something I can do, and since I can, I probably should. Even if it’s hard. If it makes the world better.”

Chara nodded, and then there was silence. For several minutes, neither of them spoke. Eventually, Chara picked back up the guitar from their lap and returned to practicing those familiar chords, and then there was nothing but the repetitive sound of chords and the cold night air and that jogger in the distance making rounds on the track.

* * *

The next day was Friday, Asriel’s day off. He woke with a yawn around noon, rubbing his eyes and checking his phone for anything he’d missed. After a half-hour of grogginess and adjusting, he got dressed and made his way to the dining hall, keeping an eye out for Frisk as he moved through the student center.

He yawned, adjusting himself as he walked along through the quiet building. Most of the human students were commuters, so when the weekend came, it became quieter. Some of the monsters, still close with their families and eager for any opportunity to be with them, took weekends as an opportunity to visit home as well. The campus became a wholly different place.

He took a look around the area outside the dining hall, a table surrounded by a few empty chairs. He dawdled in place, hesitating as he alternated between taking a step toward his quiet and stress-free lunch and walking away, and finally, made a decision. He made for the nearby elevator, taking it up to the second floor, where the various clubs made their offices, and headed for the student government office.

Sure enough, the light was on and the door unlocked, the only room on the second floor currently in use. Inside, he found a smiling Frisk, diligently filling out a paper with a stack of several more to their left.

“Oh!” they said upon noticing him, giving an excited wave. “Hi, Azzy!”

Asriel forced himself to give a smile. “Heya. You wanna take a break and come to lunch? Or do you need help with anything?” He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, hoping that this wasn’t a mistake. Whatever this issue nagging at him was, he wanted to settle it.

They shoved the rolling chair back from the desk and stood. “Mmhmm, I can come get food! I’ll just take a little break.” They leaned over and signed their name across the bottom of the paper, slipping the finished thing into a folder and sliding that folder into a drawer in that desk, all with amazing proficiency, as if they’d memorized the entire process as well as the layout of the office.

“So… do you need help with anything?” he asked again, leaning against the wall as he waited for them to grab the fluffy purple hoodie on the back of the chair and throw it on. “I’m not too busy, so I could do some menial stuff, y’know…”

They shook their head. “I’m okay! It’s pretty straightforward stuff.” They flashed a smile and pranced in front of Asriel, reaching for the door.

And he followed them, down the stairwell and to the dining hall, silent all the while. He wasn’t sure if he felt somehow betrayed or simply frustrated, but Chara’s words rang in his head at the same time.  _ “Who says they need your help?” _ Maybe it really wasn’t an issue at all, and he was making something out of nothing.

Or maybe it was him feeling as though he had to prove something to himself. Prove he wasn’t useless. Maybe a part of him resented being vice president, while Frisk swept up the president position without question. Maybe the part of him that was once Flowey still existed.

Oh god.

When Asriel came back to his senses, he was laying on the ground, with Frisk looking down on him with an expression of concern and desperation. As his eyes opened they pulled him into a hug. “Azzy, thank goodness,” they mumbled into his shoulder.

“What happened…?” he asked, his voice shaky and weak. He tried to look around. He was still in the student center, right outside the dining hall. It had seemed he had lost his composure somewhere along the way there.

“Dude, you alright?” came another voice, ducking their head down to check on him. The armless, reptilian creature flashed a big grin. Monster Kid- Frisk’s roommate, and by this point an old friend. “Glad to see ya pulled through!”

Asriel looked back to Frisk, expression still confused, wracking his brain for what he was thinking about before he lost consciousness, assuming that was what happened. They smiled, and lifted a sleeve to their eyes, wiping their tears.

“You had a panic attack, I think,” they said in a soft voice, offering a hand to help him to his feet. He accepted, steadying himself on shaky legs, leaning on Frisk. “You yelled and started shaking, and fell on the ground and… you were crying, and twitching, and…” Frisk trailed off, shaking their head and tightening their grip around Asriel’s body.

Monster Kid nodded his head excitedly, perhaps a bit too quickly. “Frisk called me when it happened, to go get help… but uh, seems like you’re okay now, so that’s good.” They flashed an awkward smile, big and toothy.

“Thanks,” Asriel said, breathless. “I think… I ought to go back to my room now.” Frisk nodded, pulling back and taking his hand.

“I’ll walk you back,” Frisk said firmly, insistent. They gave a smile toward Monster Kid. “Thanks for the help. You can go back, if you want. Or if Azzy is comfy with it, you could walk him back with me?”

Asriel gave a weak smile, eyes looking down, a sympathetic expression. “S-sorry, MK,” he mumbled. “I think I just… want to stay near my family right now.”

The yellow-scaled monster gave a confused expression that almost immediately became a large smile. “Aw, you got it, dude! No hard feelings!” He had changed quite a lot and yet very little since Asriel had met him, always feeling like the same energetic child. Even his fashion choice remained steady, ever the fan of long oversized sweaters. There was undoubtedly a maturity to him, though, a wisdom hidden behind his antics and personality. He was a good friend.

“I’m gonna get some grub!” he said, sticking his tongue out. “You take care of yourself, dude. You too, Frisk!” Frisk gave him a wave as he departed, making slow and careful motions to avoid tripping himself.

And so, Asriel headed back to the dorms, supported by Frisk, leaning on them to remain steady. Something about it felt good, but something else about it scared him. Some uneasy feeling of fear in the back of his mind that refused to be silenced by any amount of reassuring. It had a name, he was almost certain, but for the life of him, he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

* * *

Asriel’s hands tightened around the blanket, legs under the covers awkwardly slipping off his jeans so he could be more comfortable. His head still ached fiercely, a vague specter of a memory hanging over him, not leaving.

Chara spun around in their chair, taking a mug from under the coffeemaker on their desk and offering it to Asriel, who took it in his hands, an appreciated warmth from the mug’s exterior comforting him. “Thank you,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse.

“Do you want to talk about what happened…?” Frisk prompted weakly, clearly not wanting to push him too far, but their concern for his well being had won out, it seemed, their face anxious and scared.

“I still don’t fully know…” Asriel said softly. “I think it might’ve been… if this makes sense, a repressed memory that came back for a second, suddenly, and it hit me and I passed out, and when I woke up it was gone again?” He paused to take a sip of the coffee, warmth throughout his body. “That’s what it felt like to me. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember, but whatever it was kept nagging at me.”

Frisk listened intently, nodding along as Asriel explained. “That makes sense to me, I think. With everything that happened…” they grabbed their arm with one hand. “I’m sorry, Asriel.”

“Hey Frisk?” asked Chara, sipping some coffee from a cup of their own. “Why the fuck are you apologizing?”

Frisk smiled weakly, clearly a bit amused, but not enough to distract them. “I didn’t notice it, but… you’ve been having a hard time lately, right? I should’ve been a better friend to you, I should’ve known.”

Asriel shook his head aggressively, a bit frustrated. “Stop it, Frisk. That’s not it. This is a me problem, not you.” He sighed, exasperated, setting the coffee on his bedside table. “God damn it, Frisk, you don’t have to be perfect. Not everything can be solved just by you.”

They recoiled a bit, clearly shocked. “I’m sorry…” Asriel said with another sigh. “It’s just… this has been on my mind lately. I think I may finally realize what it is. And frankly, I’m kinda glad now that I know.”

Memories flooded back to him, distant and vague but no less meaningful. “You’re… my little sibling, and I want to take care of you. I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s the big brother in me.” He laughed, still hoarse, but earnest. “I’m scared that you’ll hurt yourself. I… want to protect you, from the world, and from your own expectations. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do everything. Not alone, at least.”

The sound of knocking on wood, and Asriel turned his attention to Chara. “Um, yeah Azzy. No shit?” They grinned. “Frisk would’ve been hopeless at that whole saving the underground thing if it weren’t for me, don’t you remember?”

Frisk giggled, a relieving and uplifting sound for Asriel’s tired ears. “It’s true! Chara was a big help, because they knew about monsters, and the underground!” They smiled, looking between the other two before settling on Asriel.

“Azzy… I promise, I’ll let you help with things.” They rubbed their eyes. “And I’ll, uh… be more honest with you, too. About if it’s too much. I… I guess I do have a habit of biting off more than I can chew, or blaming myself when I can’t do everything…”

“I’m just happy that I can put this behind myself at all…” Asriel mumbled. “I couldn’t… put my finger on this nagging feeling for the longest time, on what was causing it. I thought I was being selfish, that there was something wrong with me, or that I was just…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish that thought.

“Heck of a weekend, huh? Not very relaxing…” he said with a sigh. “But I guess that means I can take the rest of the day off to pull myself together, huh?” Frisk nodded. “So, what do you two say, then? Feel like staying with me? Maybe we can have some fun, play some games?”

“Sure,” Frisk said with a smile. “That way you get to make me take a day off, too!” And they giggled.

“I already wasn’t planning on doing anything today,” Chara said with a shrug, taking off their jacket and hanging it off the back of their chair. “So, why not? I’ll let you two bug me for a little bit.”

Asriel smiled, pulling the warm mug of coffee back into his hands to take another sip. Over his head, he still felt a hanging feeling of uncertainty and fear. But that was not something to tackle today, he figured, not something that needed to be unmasked right away. Today was for rest.


End file.
